Archive for September, 2011

Corn dogs

“There’s always time for corndogs.”

Fairgoer

EJs

Some nurses get turned on by the mere fact that you’re a surgeon. Others by bulging veins. When a nurse tells you “you have sexy EJs”, it’s time to protect your neck.

Parents

You can’t live with them. You can’t shoot them.

N.B. I’m not referring to my parents. I’m referring to patients’ parents.

Imaging

Some doctors don’t look at images they’ve ordered. Some get consults based on the radiologists read, even when the radiologist tells them the fracture on CT scan is non-operable. Others get a consults despite the radiologist’s read that the fracture is so small no surgeon in this world would operate on it.

Medical error

Nurses will refuse to give 30 units of insulin for a glucose level of 800 (somewhat appropriate), but without the slightest doubt give 20 gm of magnesium to a patient with a magnesium level of 0.9 (never appropriate in any case in the world. Ever.).

What’s a sure-fire way of provoking a seizure in a person? 20 gm of magnesium.

My job

“Your only job as a resident is to make less mistakes each year than the year before.”

JM

Resources

Despite the fact that we are doctors, always keep resources in mind when you have a patient with a dismal outcome. Giving someone 50 units of blood, 25 liters of fluid, 0.5 liters of platelets, and spending hours in the OR is not a good use of resources for a patient you know will die.

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