Archive for October, 2011

Hung like a horse

Patients can say some completely inappropriate things.

After another resident reduced a prolapsed hemorrhoid: “Wow doctor, your fingers are huge; you must be hung like a horse.”

I can’t make this stuff up.

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Pain

No one believes a patient who is sitting peacefully and quietly but suddenly moans and groans about pain upon the doctors walking in the room. If you’re going to fake pain levels, do so consistently.

Nursing care

When nurses run out of intelligent ideas–and I’m not saying they have many–they start doing dumb shit.

“I have a patient who’s on OB/GYN who had a hysterectomy and I’ve tried paging the team several times without any answer. Is there anything you can do?”

Are you serious? ARE YOU SERIOUS? (Yes, she was serious). The nurse called me, a doctor from another team, to ask a question and for medications for a patient that I have never in my life seen or heard of.

Nausea

Even people that weigh 160 kg can get nauseous. Granted, it takes half a lasagna platter, but it happens.

Ghost town

The VA is a ghost town after 4 pm. No patients roam the hallways; no volunteers to greet you; and no nurses to take care of patients.

Okay, maybe that last one was a bit exaggerated. Maybe.

Like a surgeon

About this song.

Personal space

Americans > Asians > Europeans > Middle Easternerns.

Don’t crowd an Irishman.

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