Archive for December, 2011

Bilateral chest tubes

It’s fun when your attending asks you and the other intern on service to put in bilateral chest tubes on a patient on the CT scanner table and gives you the 8 minutes of downtime the scanner has as it reboots for your deadline.

That was a fast 8 minutes.

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Crazy patient

This is what happens when a doctor should be writing down what a patient is saying, but the patient is crazy.

Food

There’s nothing like a bit of food while on call at night to boost your energy for the remainder of the evening. And by boost your energy I mean put you in a food coma to sleep peacefully.

CT scan

Not all people know what a CT scan is. Apparently some patients think it is purely imaging of the head/brain. Then again those patients are also schizophrenic.

Eloper

A patient can walk by numerous doctors with a tube in almost every orifice, fully dressed, and headed for the hospital exit, yet no one will stop him/her from eloping because, in truth, we don’t really care.

Hiding paraphanelia

Hiding a bag of marijuana in your butthole is not a good idea around doctors. We do look everywhere.

Unplanned

The best things in life are unplanned. Except pregnancies. Definitely not unplanned pregnancies.

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