Archive for July, 2012

Loose hubcap

If another car’s hubcap seems suspiciously loose to you while driving on the highway, keep your distance from the guilty car–thr hubcap may come off and dart into your lane seconds later.

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Running bowel

Running bowel is actually quite fun, if it’s uninjured and smelling of bowel contents.

Who do police officers fear?

“I carry a gun and I’m scared of [insert attending name here].”

AC

Timed doors

When an automatic door locks on a timed schedule, waving your hand incessantly in front of the sensor will not make the door suddenly unlock. It is hilarious, however, to watch someone attempt this maneuver for the better part of 2 minutes.

Documentation

Even if you are slammed and don’t have time at that moment to see a patient, always go by when you do have time to document what you did and why you were not able to be at the bedside earlier (ie. dealing with another sick patient, trauma activation, or other duties that required your attention).

Skill vs speed

The rating of an intern based on skill and speed:

Good + Slow = Painstakingly good

Bad + Slow = Terribly well-rounded

Bad + Fast = Efficiently bad

Good + Fast = Ideal intern

Custodian

One of the men on the janitorial staff who cleans the hospital at night scares most residents. He never speaks, faces the wall when someone walks by, and is afraid to use elevators so carries the wax machine up or down each floor.

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