Archive for August, 2012

Innumerable stab wounds

It is a bad sign when a patient shows up with so many stab wounds that it is too many to count, even by health care professionals.

Worst nightmare

The worst thing that can happen as a trauma physician is to have a patient who you know show up in your trauma bay.

Rectal foreign body

A good way to start the day off (or end the night) is to take a patient to the OR to pull a sex toy out of her/his rectum. Sadly, this particular patient has no clue how close s/he was to getting an exploratory laparotomy.

Orthopaedic traction

If you’re standing at the foot of a patient who has come out of traction, mind your feet. A 10 kg weight falling on your toe is quite painful at first, until your toe goes numb and you lose all feeling.

Scalp laceration

A scalp laceration on a cardiology patient incurred from a fall while in the hospital warrants a surgery consult at 4 in the morning. My answer: get some saline and a stapler, wash it out, and fire some staples; if you don’t feel comfortable doing that, I will be glad to send the medical student to show you how.

Flaterry

While it’s nice to have medical students appreciate you as a resident, it’s a little creepy when one permanently etches a heart with your name in it on the table in the student room.

Covered parking

The best perk of being on special committees is close, covered parking.

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