Archive for April, 2013

Army physician

As a physician in the army, you may be called upon to provide condoms for your colonel in the middle of the night. No task is too small for an army doctor.

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Banana knife

While I do not know the exact name of the instrument I used on lower extremity amputation last week, it was referred to as a banana knife. This marvel will cut through skin, fascia, and muscle like butter.

Sleeping beauty

You can’t ask for anything better than your two post-operative patients sleeping soundly in the ICU.

Hypochondriac region

When you read a progress note where the physician states, as part of the physical exam, “mild abdominal pain in the hypochondriac region”, the remainder of the note is not worth reading.

Incoherently coherent

If you judge a patient as incoherent, her/his family members may not agree with you, even if all s/he can utter is non-sensical.

Lasso

Knowing how to lasso a rope is essential during IR procedures, where it is helpful to be familiar with techniques for manipulating a wire.

Dr. Winchester

When a patient tells you s/he wants to leave the hospital to visit her/his PCP Dr. Winchester because s/he has a magic lead pill after you’ve told her/him your plan to amputate a leg, read between the lines. It may take some people a minute to get this (as it did our team), so allow me to introduce you to Dr. Winchester and his lead pill.

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